4 Things to Consider Before Trying Anal Sex for the First Time


4 Things to Consider Before Trying It Backdoor for the First Time

Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at (email protected),

The Question

I think I’m finally ready to try anal sex but I am worried about some of the risks that come with it. Is there a possibility that I can get injured? I want to make sure I’m taking all of the necessary precautions. – Keith, New York, NY


Congratulations. You’ve finally mustered the courage to have a boner go up your back door. And why not? After all, the prostate is an erogenous zone that can make your orgasms that much more powerful.

But because I am a self-described side and don’t typically partake in anal sex (I suffer from colitis and I tend to be a bit lazy), I hit up the ever-so-knowledgeable Jonathan Baker, PA-C, (aka “Rectal Rockstar†on Instagram) for his expertise on the subject.

Aside from the always-present risk of contracting an STI (use protection!) or HIV (again, use protection or go on PrEP), here are the four biggest things (other than the one big thing) to keep in mind before getting on all fours and assuming the position:

1. Douche, But Don’t Over-Douche

“I recommend starting with a fiber supplement, high fiber diet, and lots of hydration,†advises Baker. “Many people can eliminate fecal material just by optimizing what they eat and drink.” But if you want to “clean out” before sex, he recommends. using a bulb syringe or store-bought enema (ie fleets, but empty the liquid) with tap water and no more than three times.

“It’s best to limit this, as enema use is associated with anorectal damage and infections,” he adds. “Over-cleaning before sex can irritate the skin and make sex uncomfortable or even painful.â€

2. Lube Up

“Apply lube liberally to both the anus and the penis or fingers before insertion,†says Baker. “I recommend a silicone-based lube (like Wet Platinum) because it lasts a long time.â€

And while numbing lube may seem like a good idea if you’re worried about pain, think again.

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“I advise against lube which has a numbing agent in it, because it can dull pain that would otherwise signal that something had gone wrong,†Baker says.

3. Take Things Slow

“During the initial insertion, take it slow and stop as often as needed,†says Baker. “Patience is key and remember that getting frustrated is going to cause the sphincter to tighten and possibly cause an injury. Both partners must work together and communicate to make anal sex work.â€

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One good way to ensure it doesn’t go faster than you want? Riding your partner cowboy style.

“Having the receptive partner on top allows them to control the speed of insertion,†Baker notes.

RELATED: 10 Fun, Creative or Kinky Gay Sex Positions, Illustrated

4. Try to Relax

“Being relaxed and releasing the rest of the tension in your body will help relax the anal sphincter,†stresses Baker. “The anus reflexively tightens when touched, making foreplay with the anus essential.†Â

If a fissure does occur, it will typically be extremely painful. Should it continue to bleed, seek immediate medical attention.

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With all of this said, don’t let the newfound knowledge deter you from being sexually adventurous and giving bottoming a shot.

The most important aspect of putting your legs behind your head is to find a partner that you can trust. This person should exercise a significant amount of patience and communicate with you along the way. There should be zero pressure to completely go through with it, and you should never feel rushed or in pain.

RELATED: The Dos and Don’ts of Anal Sex

Additionally, if you feel like getting a rod up your rectum will automatically make you gay, get over yourself. concrete data suggests that around a third of heterosexual people enjoy anal sex. Consider it exploration and don’t think any more about it.

Life is too short and it’s intended to be pleasurable. You don’t want to be on your deathbed looking back and thinking, “I really wish John had rammed me good when the opportunity presented itself.â€

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